Happy Wednesday, friends! I'm linking up with Joyce for today's blog post. I'll jump right in!
1. What's a lesson you've learned from a mistake?
Oh, boy. I'm not calling my marriage a mistake, because it wasn't and I have no regrets in being married to the man that gave me my sons. To call him a mistake would be calling them a mistake, and that's not the case at all! That being said, there were some things that I got wrong in my marriage, and if the Lord decides to put a man into my life that I fall in love with and marry, there are things I will do differently. Because I love a good bullet point list, I'll list some examples below.
If God ever gives me an opportunity to remarry, I will:
- always go to bed with my husband, no matter how early or late.
- say yes more than I say no
- communicate clearly about anything and everything
- participate in his hobbies and expect that he'll do the same for me in return
- make sure that we spend quality time together everyday without our phones, being careful to have that meaningful daily connection (and making lots of eye contact)
- expect that he will always look at my phone and that he will gladly give me his in return
I could go on, but I'll stop. Nobody is perfect and there is no perfect marriage; mine was great until it wasn't for him. We were not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I never would have pursued divorcing him. He gave me no choice, and neither did the choices me made. Even so, now that I'm divorced, I love the life that I'm living, and I'm thankful that God has brought me to this point.
I am not opposed to getting remarried someday, if that is what God wants for my life. If that's the case, He will bring someone to me, and it'll be the man of my dreams who is a spiritual leader and who loves me with everything in him. I've never had a spiritual leader in my life as a married woman, and that's the number one deal maker. I know that if God doesn't intend this for me, that He will help me to be okay with however my life turns out. I'm so fortunate that I get to live this life with Jesus! I tell Him all the time that He is the great love of my life, and He's all I want and all I need.
Whew! That was a lot...moving onto lighter topics now...
2. Do you salt food while you're cooking or let diners add their own? What's a food you think must be salted? Do you like pepper? I loved watching cooking shows on The Food Network when my sons were younger. I loved Ina Garten, Giada, and Ree Drummond; I truly learned from the greatest! They all had one thing in common: they salted their food as they cooked, so I do the same. I think that tomatoes, baked potatoes, and steaks always need to be salted (either before or after they're cooked). I love pepper!
3. What was the last gathering you attended and what did you do there? The last gathering I went to was in February, on Valentine's day weekend. It was D-Now, the youth event that I led a group of ninth grade girls for. It was more of an event, but it was all I could think of as I read this question.
I loved getting to know these girls! Two of them help me in the bookstore on Sundays, and I couldn't be happier! It was an epic weekend. If you want to read the full post pertaining to that event, here's a link.
4. What's your favorite shade of purple? What's your favorite purple flower? I like purple, but I don't wear the color much. If I had to choose a shade, it would be a pinkish purple. My favorite purple flower is an Iris, and though it's more blue than purple, that's all I've got. Oh! I also love purple hydrangeas.
5. Share a favorite spring travel memory. My favorite spring travel memory was from last year when Tanya, Joanne, Marilyn, and I went to Nashville for a long weekend. It was a blast!
6. Insert your own random thought here.
A few weeks ago, we sang this song in church; it's Psalm 91 (I Will Say) by Anna Golden. I've been listening to it ever since I first heard it in church, and it's become a new favorite. If I've mentioned it here before, forgive me, but I don't think I have.
I'm excited to read your posts today! Thanks for being here to read mine, friends. Love to all!
Jenn 💜💜
Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom on marriage. I'm curious why going to bed at the same time is important for you. My husband routinely doesn't get enough sleep and he is definitely a night owl while I am definitely a morning person. I know I would struggle to go to bed as late as he does and he would struggle going to bed as early as I do. You are not the first person who has mentioned going to bed at the same time as your spouse so I'm just curious...
ReplyDeleteI never thought going to bed at the same time was a big deal until I no longer had a husband at home with me. Once he left, I started thinking of how I wished that I had been more willing either to stay up later with him, or him coming to bed earlier with me, even if we turned on the TV and watched in bed while I fell asleep. I am the same as you and a morning person, so I always went to bed at nine; I missed out on some prime talking hours since he was such a night owl. It's interesting, looking back after it's all said and done with. Hindsight is everything!
DeleteI see your point about the rules of marriage but I just can't do all of them. Hub and Eddie Otis go to bed at 8:30 and that is the time I finally get some me time. I also think it's important to have shared interests and separate hobbies, too. I can listen and be interested in what he is interested in but don't have to do everything.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't even know if I can do all of them either. I know that I could try, though, and we could come to an agreement if it was something I struggled with (for instance, if he went to bed at 8:30). I would be willing to try, though! I agree about both shared and separate hobbies, and honestly, that was me and my ex husband. We had things we enjoyed together, and we had separate things; at some point, he started pulling away from me and I could tell that he wasn't as willing to do things with me as he had once been. He had already made up his mind and he had also met someone else, so by that point, I didn't stand a chance.
DeleteAgain, with the hindsight!
I am so excited to follow along with the endless possibilities that are in store for you. You inspire me always with how uplifting you are and positive- it is a lesson for us all to learn from!
ReplyDeleteI'm excited to share them all here! Thank you for following along with me on my new journey...and for being such a great cheerleader. That means the world to me! Happy Wednesday to you, my sweet friend.
DeleteSome marriages are long lasting and successful with very little cooperation, it depends on the personalities. My husband is a Saudi national, different religion, little in common, no shared hobbies (his is soccer, mine is politics and ufology) I don't own a smart phone and don't look at his. We've been married 30 years so sometimes the unconventional can work.
ReplyDeleteThis is not an exhaustive list, obviously, but you're right! Unconventionality can work regarding marriages.
DeleteThanks for sharing the song. I'm trying to memorize that Psalm and having it set to music helps a lot. Your list is a good one and I hope God brings you just the right someone in just the right time. Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! I think that's a great Psalm to memorize. Maybe the song will help you with that! Thank you for your kind words regarding my future!
DeleteOh that is a great spring travel memory! I'm eagerly anticipating this year's trip. It's pretty rare that Ben and I don't go to bed at the same time (though he's usually asleep before me but I enjoy laying next to him while I watch TV).
ReplyDeleteIt was such a fun time, and I cannot wait to be together again, plus two! I love that y'all go to bed together, even if you watch TV while he snoozes. I love that!
DeleteHi Jenn, I like the sound of your Spring trip. I need to put a bee in my sister's bonnets and plan a getaway for the 4 of us! Great goals you listed for a marriage and some of them for other relationships as well. Life with Jesus as our Lord and Savior is the best. God bless you as He leads you on.
ReplyDeleteIt was such a great time! I hope you get to do that with your sisters soon. There's no time like sister time! You are so right about a relationship with Jesus; I'm so grateful for life with Him!
DeleteThat is good advice for a marriage. Communication is so important and so is quality time together.
ReplyDeleteThe youth event sounds fantastic!
You are so right! Communication is everything.
DeleteWhat a beautiful song! The Nashville trip was so fun, and also a special memory because I feel like all of us pushed out of our comfort zone to meet up! That is a great list for marriage, and like you said in some comments they are things you only knew inhindsight. <3
ReplyDeleteIsn't that great? It was such a good time, and I am so excited about reuniting in a couple of weeks plus two! You're right about us pushing out of our comfort zones; this year will be a piece of cake. Hindsight is very telling!
DeleteLoved our spring trip!! And you know I am in agreement for both of us regarding marriage.
ReplyDeleteI know you're looking back and thinking of things that might have made a difference, but the biggest factor is having a man who loves Jesus and therefore, loves you with the love you deserve. A woman doesn't have to be the same as her husband. In fact, God puts opposites together to cause us to compromise and die to ourselves. An honest man will respect that you are an early riser and you go to bed earlier. A trustworthy man won't care if you look at his phone. It's ok to have interests that are yours alone, but where people go wrong is when they start to spend more time apart than together. When you start taking separate vacations, have separate bank accounts,
ReplyDeletespend more time with friends than your spouse...those are red flags. I hope that you will keep a list of what attributes you are looking for in a person, but without taking all the change as your responsibility. I had a friend who was the perfect wife. She literally did everything to please her husband (also a cop) and he still cheated on her. Cheating is a character issue. Not a "my wife should be different" issue. Integrity comes from the inside and only Jesus can change that. All of this to say...let the Lord speak to you about how you need to change and grow, but certainly don't make a list based on your last relationship. Be wise and be selective. You deserve it.