how I cope when life is hard

Happy Tuesday, friends! This isn't my normal kind of post, but it's something I want to talk about since it's what I face some days. I want to share what I do to try to help me through the barrage of emotions that often come my way each day. These things that I do can be helpful for a lot of different circumstances, not just what I'm going through. It's such a wonderful, magical time of year, but these days bring up a lot of feelings for so many of us! That being said, I hope you find some helpful advice while you read my post today, especially as we get closer to the holidays.

Because I have had so much change in my life this year, I seem to go back and forth with my feelings, and I have days when I struggle with my thoughts. It's like my mind never stops reeling and I have all of them at once. The first thing I do on days like this is to pray, which I always try to stop right then and do, but sometimes that doesn't seem to work. I'm just being honest, here. There is a verse that I like to pray when I go through such times. 

We demolish arguments and every proud thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 4b-5

I know that when I have times like this, it's the enemy messing with me. I try to be intentional with my time and thoughts by thanking God for the many things I have to thank Him for, but even still, some days are just hard. I guess I say this to express that even though most days I try to be upbeat and positive, I am not always that way. I know that these feelings won't last, but I do have to sit with them for a minute before trying to move on. Even my counselor suggests that, to give a voice to what I'm feeling and to try to work through it. 

The second thing I do while I'm still praying is to begin thanking God for all that He has done in my life, and for praising Him for who He is. Here are some of His wonderful attributes that are praiseworthy:

• He is holy
• He is omniscient and knows everything that we are going through
• He is loving
• He is merciful
• His word is true and He is completely reliable
• He is sovereign over everything: time, circumstances, and all of creation
• He is faithful
• He never changes and will never let me down

Another thing I do often, even on the days when I don't struggle, is listen to worship music. It's so uplifting to me, and before I know, my mood will have turned around. 

I do not neglect my quiet time, no matter how much I'm not feeling it that day. The thing is, even on our very worst days, it's a great day to be in the word of God. Somehow, even when we're struggling to pay attention even as we listen to the word being read to us aloud, it still seeps into our heart. It's important to keep showing up daily for this time with Jesus, if you're a believer. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, either, and there's no right or wrong way to go about this! This could be time just spent reading the Bible, it could be time spent by doing a daily devotional, or you could just follow a simple Scripture writing plan, like I did for years. That may be one of my favorite things to do, by the way, write out the word of God. For me, to write it is to commit it to my heart. 

If you want to do that this holiday season, here's a link for you to use. This is Shannon from Sweet Blessings blog who put together a writing plan for us for years; she stopped doing this a couple of years ago, but the plans are still available. Go to this page, click on her link, and you'll be redirected to a One Drive link where you can pick your plan. 

I also don't spend too much time alone. If I'm not leaving my home on days like this, I call my people. This could be my mom, my sisters, or my friends. I'm always grateful when they answer my many calls! This is something that is hard for me, because I love being at home and watching movies or shows. As much as I love being there, I can only handle so much of it, if that makes sense. That being said, if I stay home from Sunday afternoon and don't go anywhere on Monday, I am always more than ready to go to work on Tuesdays. It's good to be with people we love to be with!

Lastly, I choose joy. Every single time, even on the hardest of days, I have so much to be thankful for. The minute I start focusing on anything other than my own circumstances, my outlook changes. It's why I share my thankful Thursday posts each week, because it's true and heartfelt. I have so very much to be thankful for, and I never want to take any of that for granted. Trust me when I say that I have my days when I just struggle nonstop, no matter what I do. Even on those days, though, I try to have something to look forward to, no matter how big or small. We should all look forward to things more! I don't know how exactly it is that we can start to have that personality trait, but I equate it to be eternally optimistic and easily excitable. Is that even a phrase? It should be, if not! Even if I'm not feeling joyful, I put a smile on my face and I pretend until it becomes more real. And it always does! 

Here are a few other things we can do to be a good friend to those who are hurting:

• pray for them
• call them regularly
• text them often to check in on them
• invite them into your home and life; don't make them have to ask

These are things I've appreciated the last few months; some of these are things that I would love to happen to me, particularly the one about being invited. Life just feels hard a lot, you know? Regardless of what someone goes through, I think it's so good to be sympathetic and to have empathy for those who are hurting. I think we should always be sensitive to what we share with people who are facing hard things. 

I guess another reason why I'm sharing this is to also ask you to keep praying for me. I desperately need it! Part of my struggle is because I'm facing my first set of holidays without my dad on earth. But mostly it's also because of the death of my marriage, and all the grand thoughts I had pertaining to my future years. It's hard being alone and thinking of showing up to events alone, and though I'm surrounded by people who love me and my sons so much, it's still very, very difficult. I still feel lonely a lot, and I always feel like there's a dark cloud hanging over my head. I am nothing here, if not real with you, and I know when you read this, that most of you will pray for me and my sons. Thank you! So many of you have reached out to me by email or text, and I could never say thank you enough. Thanks for reading a bit of my heart today, friends, and for your kindness. Love to all.

Jenn 🖤

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