Share Your Shelf & a life update

 

Happy Thursday, friends! I'm so glad you're here today to link up with Joanne, Marilyn, Tanya, and me. I also hope that all of you had a better reading month than I did, because alas, I did not actually finish one book this month. Can you believe that? It's my life, I'm telling you; I'm having an issue with not being able to pay attention to a book, so I'm either listening to music or watching shows on Netflix. I am currently in the middle of three different books right now, and I will share those with you when we talk about our October books next month. Here's a sneak peak of just one of the three I'm in the middle of:

And because she was in my city, I went to her book signing event with friends Tuesday night!

It's funny how when you go to do something like this, you think you're going to hear someone speak and to laugh a little, but what ended up happening is that I was encouraged in three different circumstances in the brief time I was there. First, my dear friend Marilyn affirmed me about the day I've been dreading for months: my 28th wedding anniversary is on Friday of this week, and I am walking through the process of waiting for my divorce to become finalized, even though I'm months away. I won't get into details since they're not important, but she encouraged me to not project my feelings about that day onto the actual day itself. I love what Marilyn said, and she encouraged me to keep holding my head high. I had plans to be in Denver by this morning, but I had to postpone my trip since one of my sisters is sick. We're doing the same trip with the same itinerary the last week of October.  

And then I ran into the wife of someone my husband used to be close with on the sheriff's department, and she hugged me for dear life as she poured encouragement into my ear. She said almost word verbatim what Marilyn said to me after she and I met Sophie and said our goodbyes; and though Marilyn knew who that woman was after I told her, I didn't tell her what she said to me! She told me to keep walking with my head held high, and to keep on being the rockstar that I am. (I'm not saying that I am that, y'all, those were her words.) She told me that she and her husband support me. She told me that I was beautiful, a treasure, and a strong woman of God, and to keep walking in the knowledge of Him and knowing those things. It was encouraging to hear, because honestly, I can't imagine what the sheriff's department people must think since they know all of our dirty laundry, thanks to him. He's being pretty brazen in his life right now, and not hiding even one thing that he's doing that is morally wrong. 

And lastly, my best friend encouraged me for the rest of the way home. I dropped her off at her car, and then she called me before I even left the parking lot. 🤣 She also affirmed me and told me to keep writing, and to also consider writing a book about the events that I've been walking through since June. She's the second person that has said that to me in a week, and then yesterday I woke up to an anonymous comment on my blog saying the same thing, almost word verbatim. 

I share all of these things, because the Lord used them all in my life this week, in this time frame that I've been dreading leading up to tomorrow, the day we would have been celebrating our 28 years of being married. Won't He do it? He is so good to me, and I know that He hears my prayers and knows my heart and the things that are inside of it when I'm too sad/angry/overwhelmed to even pray. Also, He put me with the counselor that is for me this week; I went to a new one on Tuesday and walked out of her office feeling so much better. She gave me some coping exercises to do on my own at home when I feel sad/angry/overwhelmed, and she encouraged me to reinvent myself after I get to know who I am. And honestly, I don't even know who I am without being a wife, because I was married by nineteen. I went from being a kid at home, to a wife, then to a mom; but today I am someone unrecognizable to myself. I am none of those things anymore, except for the mom part, but my role as their mom has changed drastically since they're grown. 

A few of you have mentioned this to me as well, but it's finally sinking in that I can become someone completely new. That's exciting to think about! She also encouraged me to get out of my house and to avoid being here alone at night as much as possible. So I'm going to work on all of these things, and I'm going to really pray and think about the person I want to be and what I want my life to look like in five years. I can tell you one thing: I do not want to be married again, because I am loving my newfound independence and freedom! It feels amazing to not have to answer for anything that I do or the money I spend. The Lord may change my mind someday, but I am not at all interested in that. Even if I were, I would take my time, because rebound relationships never last. 

I am grateful for all of you and this online community of friends that feel so genuine. Thank you for your many prayers and words of encouragement; so many of you have reached out to me by email to encourage me as well, and I'm so thankful for all of those that I've gotten. I wake up to a new one almost daily, and I've even been the recipient of gifts that I've gotten in the mail. You have no idea what all of this has meant to me the last few months; I thank the Lord for each and every one of you. Thank you for letting me talk here and to be so real with you; and thank you for loving me anyway! I look forward to being here each and everyday. It's because of you that I feel that way, so my gratitude doesn't feel adequate. 

Thanks for reading my blog today, friends, and for linking up with us! Love to all. 

Jenn 🖤

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