I told someone recently that I have lived a pretty cushy life, in most senses of the word. That just means that I haven't walked through a lot of hard things. I always knew that the day when trials would come could always be just around the corner, but up until this summer, though I'd had some hard times in life in my 48 years, nothing was earth shattering.
When I was talking to my best friend about this, I told her I felt as if I was facing the day that I had been unintentionally waiting for: the day when my faith would be put to the test. And honestly, if my relationship with the Lord wasn't so strong, it would have been! Because He had been leading me to spend time with Him and to walk closely with Him daily, I am thankful to say that wasn't the case. Times have been hard, but God is good. It's been a scary season for me on my own, but I know that God is with me! I have been abandoned by someone I loved, but I've never felt more loved and cared for by my Almighty God, and by the family and friends He has put in my life.
I never would have chosen this path for my life, but it's the one I'm walking on even as I write these words. My life has changed so drastically in the last few months, and so have my thoughts on certain topics. I know that as much as I loved the old me, she is forever gone and in her place is this new version of myself: someone who is stronger, who has to have hard conversations often, who lets people into the sadness that I often face, who shares details of my life with people who ask, someone who is slightly more worn around the edges than ever before, and who has to often speak the truth bluntly. Thankfully, the familiar pieces of me are still there, though I have to dig a little deeper to get to them: I still have the joy of the Lord, I am still (mostly) optimistic about life, and I still love to have fun and laugh, even though it takes more to get me to do both of those things.
I often find peace in knowing that none of this took the Lord by surprise. He's been preparing me for this day since the very beginning of time, and I can clearly see how He has gone right before me in so many instances. He led me to get a job two years ago this fall, and my third attempt was the winner; working at my church for the last year has been one of the greatest blessings I've experienced in years. He led me to read His word from cover to cover again this year with The Bible Recap community, and as a result, I've found characteristics of Him on every page; I've also found more joy in Him as I have read through this year. He has been faithful to provide for me exactly what I've needed and right when I need it: whether counseling, godly advice from my church family, my actual family, or my friends (both in real life and here in the blogging community), and He has never once let me down.
I've made it a habit to do a few different things that have helped me along my way that I thought I would share with you. Some of it is what you already know, but some of the things are new that I've implemented.
- I make my quiet time priority, every single day, no matter what I have going on
- I pray every morning and all throughout my day
- I journal everything, both things pertaining to my quiet time and also daily life
- I actively follow social media accounts that are more uplifting than anything
- I keep a running list on my phone of ways that I've seen God's hand in my life
- I also keep a running list on my phone of things from my old life that I don't miss 🤣
- I still practice gratitude, even if I'm not using the journal I'd started using early in 2024
- I've found joy in making things mine
- I have changed my language (personal pronouns) and my thought patterns
- I've worked on forming my own opinions on everything, instead of just going along
- I have found and cultivated peace in my home
- I have completely lowered all of my expectations and am truly grateful for whatever is extended to me
- I've learned not to trust certain (ahem) people who are on their way out of my life
- I only buy and make things that my sons love
- I've learned to lean on the people in my life, and to accept their help
I've probably said too much, but I also haven't actually said a lot. These are all just details that make up my new current life. What are the things you do when life is hard? I'd love to hear from you! Thanks for reading my blog today, friends. Love to all!
(I'm linking up with Joanne for today's post.)
xoxo,
Jenn 🖤
The Lord was preparing you for the day- God knew your faith was strong and that it would only get stronger. God knew you were a hard worker and gave you a job that you enjoy and that requires that hard work. God knew you were fiercely protective of your sons and that mama bear would emerge when need be to protect the boys. God knew you would need family and friends like never before- years of cultivating friendships and relationships would be vital to endure going through abandonment and betrayal.
ReplyDeleteI experienced devastation early in life with my died dying when I was still a girl and my mom getting sick when I was in my twenties and dying when I was in my thirties. I was mad at God as a teenager but He has always been faithful to me. Reading the Bible, praying and relying on Godly wisdom from the friends and family God placed in my life has helped me immeasurably. I am so sorry you are going through something this difficult. I know you know that you are equipped to handle it but it is still extraordinarily hard. Will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I love all the things you said in the first paragraph. Thank you! I am so sorry that you experienced those things at such a young age; and looking at you on this side of things, I'm encouraged to see that you came out shining brightly for God. Thank you for sharing that with me today, and as always, thank you a million times over for the prayers!
DeleteI really love this! I know it's mainly for you to put on paper, but I know you are helping other women, too. It's time for you to think more of what you want. I know you aren't there yet, but I am looking forward to seeing your next chapter. I hope you are in a place to say Yes to opportunities you never thought possible!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I felt like sharing more today, and I don't think there was any harm in saying what I said even though I've been advised to keep quiet about it all. I appreciate you encouraging me in that way! I have been journaling all of this and have a record of both a timeline of events and also how God has provided for me every step of the way. I'm hoping to say Yes more as I move forward!
DeleteIt always gives me hope and peace that God knew what was coming, even if I didn't. It doesn't necessarily make the hard times easier, but it helps me feel not out of control.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm praying for you as you walk this tough, and unexpected, journey. I don't know the details but God does and knows what you need.
DeleteI feel the exact same way! I'm someone who needs for things to be orderly and not chaotic; my life feels anything but that right now, so knowing that God knew all of this helps tremendously. It's also faith-building to see how He's been preparing me for this very day.
DeleteHi Jennifer :) Growing through things is hard, not fun, and yet sometimes the best growth comes out of those tough valleys. We have walked through some tough times the past several years and at times I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. But day by day, problem by problem, God worked each situation to our favor and I came out of it all knowing God's character and that I could truly trust Him. For me, a lot of my growth also took place with asking God what I could have done differently. That was a lot of learning for me. I've learned that it truly does pay off to wait on him and not get ahead of his plan. That's extremely hard for a girl who likes to get things done :) I'm still a work in progress :)
ReplyDeleteHello! You are exactly right, my friend. I know you've walked through your share of hard times, so it's encouraging me to see how your faith is still strong. I have felt like that at times too, like I was going to have a nervous breakdown, but the Lord always helps me to come out of it. It's interesting what you said about asking God how you could have handled things differently; I started praying something along those lines yesterday, especially as I move forward in life years down the road. Thank the Lord He never gives up on us!
DeleteI think the fact that he doesn't give up on us, is one of the most precious aspects of walking with him. I mean, God continues to show up, even when we repeat things he's already tried to teach us. His patience with us is overwhelming and so loving. Much more than we deserve (or hand out).
DeleteYes! Amen to all of that.
DeleteWow. I think I really needed to read this today. Here I am trying to show you support and just need you to know how much you helped me reading this. Thank you for the reminders of God preparing us and giving us what we need to get through the tough times. Like Natasha said it helps us to feel not out of control. XO
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad it resonated with you as well! That is one reason why I love to share things here, because I always think that if I need to remember something, other people do as well. If I can help even one person with that, then it's worth putting down here to stay forever. Thank you for always being a source of encouragement for me!
DeleteSweet friend, you know my heart breaks with you. Walking this same road with you has been a gift to me. You are right. The Lord has been preparing for us and is with us each step, even when we don't see it or feel it. We are going to make it! I just need us to keep making plans :). I love your lists of thankfulness. Keep being thankful. I am thankful for you & love you!
ReplyDeleteAnd mine breaks with you! I feel the same way and have said that so many times either to the Lord or to other people: how thankful I am to have you to go through this with, even if it is something terrible. God knew we would need each other! And amen, I am going to need us to keep making plans and having random phone calls. I'm always up for that! Love you!
DeleteSending massive love and hugs! It sounds like you have been through a really rough time and are still feeling the effects. I am glad you have found things to get your through. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kim! I am, and I will be for quite some time to come. I always appreciate your sweet words, my friend.
DeleteSorry you've been going through such difficult times but it sounds like you're leaning on the Lord, spending time in His word, which is the perfect thing to do.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I wholeheartedly agree.
DeleteI think there's a great source of strength in just knowing that God knew and that He helped you before. In my church we call it a "tender mercy." It's something that makes you aware that God knows you personally and is watching out for you. And you're so right that staying close to Him is the best way through anything. Visiting from Talking About it Tuesdays.
ReplyDeleteYes! I agree and take such comfort in that. Thank you for stopping by to visit today!
DeletePraying for you and the boys. It sounds like you are sticking close to God and that is the best place to be. He is Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Our Provider) and Jehovah Roi (The Lord Who Sees). Two of His names that I love so much. I know He always has and always will provide my needs. And the other one encourages me that He is always watching and knows everything going on around me. I know He’s got me and since He’s watching He can correct my course anytime it’s needed.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry. I’m on my iPad and it always posts as annonymous. This is Cathy from the Tales of TCKK
DeleteI love those names for God! I agree with you on all of this, Cathy! Thank you for your prayers and for your kind words of encouragement. I'm so grateful for you!
DeleteThanks for letting me know that was you!
DeleteGod gives us strength in just the right ways and at the right time. I know you have felt Him through every step of this journey. Sending love!
ReplyDeleteYes! He always does. Much love to you, friend!
DeleteHello, my friend. My heart aches for the pain your happy soul is experiencing. You are clearly filled with the love and peace that only God provides, and your sharing here will surely inspire others. Have a cozy evening.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I do definitely have my days, but I love being here to share. It's therapeutic! I hope you do the same, my friend!
DeleteI feel like you've done a really great job balancing that fine line between trying to keep your private life private and trying to let your readers know a bit of what is going on... it's a tough line to walk for sure but you are definitely not oversharing. When things are hard for me I try to focus on those things I CAN control and let go of those things I can't. I definitely pray more and remind myself that hard times won't last forever...
ReplyDeleteThank you! I've had to be that way, because I don't have the energy that it takes to be anything other than completely authentic. Also, I don't have the desire to be that way either! I know that God will use what I'm going through in my life for years to come down the road, and He may even use my situation to help someone else! I hope that's the case, as long as He gets the glory. I think that is great advice; I have to remind myself of that all the time! There are so many unknowns in life for me right now, so all I can do is take things one day at a time. I do hope to start feeling motivated again soon, though, so that I can start cleaning out/decluttering for a future move.
DeletePraying God continues to light your path and hold your heart close. I am so sorry you are dealing with so much right now. I can feel the heaviness in your carefully chosen words. Please remember you are never alone. XO
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leslie! Honestly, I am sorry for it all as well, but it's the path that I'm on. I'm just trying to face each day as it comes and to not borrow trouble from one day to the next. I'm thankful for the fact that the Lord is with me and that He hears my prayers and unspoken words when the grief is too much to bear. Much love!
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