when I found my own personal style, 1.18.23

 

Happy Wednesday, friends! For today's post, I want to share a story with you that will tell you a little bit about how I became who I am today. It has to do with clothing and my own personal style, which is why I titled the post "when I found my own style". I'm giving Kellyann a shout-out, because seeing her post something similar to this last week is what inspired me to share this today. Before I start, I am going to start with the beginning and tell you about my beautiful mom.

 

She's in the middle...isn't she beautiful? This was in August of 2021, when she, Trish and I were on a fun Saturday out together, eating at our favorite local Mexican place for one of the last times before they closed their doors (Poncho's). Mom has never looked her age and has always had the greatest sense of style. She tried to instill this in me as a young girl, but bless her poor heart, I was stubborn. I'm actually STILL stubborn. I'm sorry, Mom! You know how when you're a young teenage girl, you don't listen to your mom? That was me, so though what she said did seem to go in one ear and out the other, it really stuck with me through the years. 

Unfortunately, as it happens when we have children and get older, I started gaining weight and became very unhappy with my appearance. When I was like that, I stopped caring about what I looked like. I was busy and in the throes of raising young boys, so most days found me in comfy clothes (jeans/yoga pants, or shorts and t-shirts) and no makeup. My husband will tell you even today that he thinks I'm the most beautiful when my face is bare. I love him so much for saying that, and also, how sweet is he to tell me that often? I am so thankful for the husband he is to me. He is also why I am who I am today, because of his love and kindness.

I'll give you an example of how I used to dress. The picture right under this is when we went camping a few times every year. Even though we were outdoors for vacation, that's how I dressed all the time. Jeans or yoga pants, shorts, pullovers like the one I have on (and that is still in my closet today), or t-shirts. That's how I dressed all the time and is why I hate t-shirts to this day. 

And this picture below is of me (I know, it's shocking) on the day I turned 40. First, know that I will never again have dark hair like this, and secondly, the year I turned 40 is the year I started wanting to care about how I dressed. I started wearing makeup more (almost everyday), I took more time with my appearance in the ways of how I dressed and in wearing jewelry. And I went back to being a blonde. 

(A little comparison for you. This picture above was two Saturdays ago. And to remind you of why I'll never be a brunette again. 😜) 

Fast forward now to me meeting a good friend who helped me find my own style. This is my friend Melanie, and this picture was taken of August 2022. (Click her name to follow her on Instagram.) 

We officially met for the first time while we decorated the choir music suite about eight years ago. We discovered we had so much in common! We're both moms to four boys, we homeschooled our sons, we are both close to our moms, and we both have sisters that we're very close to and best friends with.

Melanie used to sell Premier jewelry, and had always helped support their family by doing so, but when they went out of business, she decided to try something new. She'd been crossing over into becoming a personal stylist, so when Premier closed, that's what she did. She became a personal stylist, and is still that for me today and is always faithful and kind to answer my texts, and she opened her own online boutique, Ann & Grace Boutique. I'm linking to her Instagram, because she was such an inspiration to me. My mom laid the foundation and still leads me in example by how she dresses, but Melanie added another layer that was different to me, as well as new and exciting. Mom, I want to be just like you when I grow up! Melanie, I also want to be like you, and I want to stay occupied with doing something I love. I'm thankful to the Lord for both of you, and that I've had you each as examples and friends.

Melanie has a motto that has become something she is known for, and that greatly spoke to my heart (I'll say it to you like she says it to us)—I want to help you look your best, so that you can do all the things God wants you to do, and be who He made you to be.

Isn't that beautiful? Now you see why it resonated within me. I wanted to look my best, which made me confident in who I am and in Who I belong to. And that is how I came to be who you see here each day on my blog. It's how I came to love getting dressed, and taking care with my appearance. It's how I had two wonderful women mentor me in this, the first being Mom, and the second being Melanie. I'll share some examples of how I dress these days, most of which you've already seen.

I will add a caveat here, and that is that there are some things I love about myself and some things I hate about myself. I've learned to accept it all, as we learn when we get older, and I am trying my best to live a healthier lifestyle. 

Something I love about myself is my hair and the great skin Mom taught me to care for. I can hear her voice in my head every night when I walk upstairs to go to bed: "Jennifer, don't forget to wash your face!" Something else I've read over the years that adds to what Mom told me is that no matter how much money you spend on good makeup, it's hard to cover up bad skin. If you've never taken care of your skin, it's never too late! Start today, wherever you are in age and life. My hair and skin are both from good genes, and one I don't work at (my hair), and the other I do. Something I don't love about myself is my weight. I will never be skinny, but I don't ever want to be. My man likes me with curves, and those are his words, not mine. I do want to be healthy, though, which is why I've resolved to make changes in 2023.

Here are a few great things my mom and other friends have taught me to think about as I dress for the day. 

*Don't try too hard. It's when we try too hard that we look overly done with makeup. A little bit of makeup goes a long way. Blend, blend, and blend some more. Lines of foundation that are seen on someone's face are never attractive. Don't  be too heavy handed with the eyebrow pencils/shadows, don't use too much mascara, don't line your eyes too heavily (stick to the outer corners under your eyes only), and go easy on eyeshadow and blush. I like lighter neutral colors for my eyes, and bronze colors for my blush (or just bronzer that I use as blush).

*About lipstick—neutrals are great in the summer when your skin is a shade or two darker and when you're wearing brightly colored clothing. However, if it's in the winter and your skin is a little lighter during the colder months and regardless of the color of clothing you're wearing, consider a brighter shade of lipstick. Just make sure it doesn't clash with what you have on. Personally, I love reds with bright pinks and vice versa, but when I'm wearing a brown colored shirt or vest, I want my lipstick to match that somewhat. I would reach for neutral lipstick on this kind of day, or even a brown lipstick that I lightened up some. One of my favorite shades of lipstick at the moment is a dark brown that's by the brand MAC. Consider going bold with your lip color! It's fun, it makes a statement, and it's easy to reverse if you absolutely hate it. 

*When you're choosing clothes that are already in your closet, or that are new or "new to you", consider your body type. What do you feel most confident in? Everyone is different here. I'm always self conscious of my stomach area, so you'll never see me in fitted tops, unless it's a fitted top worn under a third piece. Find your style and wear it as much as you want! Because I don't love tight fitting tops, my personal style is that I like flowy tops (like ponchos) that are long enough to cover my bum, and I wear them with a tight fitting tank top underneath so that if the wind blows, I don't flash anyone. And yes, that did happen to me one time, and not only did that happen, it happened AT CHURCH. This brings me to the next thing Melanie taught me:

*Consider a third piece! Melanie taught me to dress in a column, which means a couple of different things. One way to do this is to dress in black pants and a black fitted tank or shirt, then adding a color pop in the third piece, whether it's a vest or cardigan. Another way to do that is to dress in black pants, with a black third piece, and wearing the pop of color as the outer top.

*The final thing I learned from both Mom and Melanie is to not forget jewelry. I learned that with my big hair, little earrings get lost, so my motto is, go big or go home. If I am not dressed in a shirt with a V-neck, which is the most universally flattering on every body type because it elongates the body, I wear a longer necklace that makes a V to give that same illusion. I learned how to layer my jewelry from Melanie, whether in an arm party (as she says) with bracelets, or in differing lengths of necklaces, like in these pictures that I also shared above.

So, those are some ways that I became who I am today and how I found my own personal style. If I had to describe my personal style in a few words, I would say that I definitely lean toward a style that is a  little bohemian (I love loose and flowy things, with a bit of something funky thrown in), comfortable (in my clothing choices), and minimal. I'll leave you with one last piece of advice that is original to me.

More than dressing a certain way or using jewelry to complete an outfit, it's the most important to cultivate inner beauty. I love what 1 Peter 3:5 says on the topic of inner beauty.

Thank you for reading my blog today, friends! And thank you for always being so kind in your comments and the time it takes to do that. I appreciate each of you so much and I pray for all of you often. I pray I always point you to Jesus, because He is ultimately why I am who I am today. I bear His image, and I hope the light you see in me reminds you of Him. Love to all!