I've worked full time and part time jobs ever since I was first married. Until I started this homeschooling journey, that is, and then I was called to be ONLY at home during these years that I've done this. (This year will be our eighth year of homeschooling.) I've been feeling a little restless, though, as two have finished school now and the other two are going into their junior year. The older they get, the less they need me to be around. And even if they DID need me, I'm only a phone call away. Factor in that Jonah and Noah are now driving, and you see what has brought me around to this point.
Since I've been feeling a little restless over the last year or so, I would pray almost every single day, or at least as often as the Lord would bring it to my mind, that if He wanted me to work again, that He would let me know. I've never been opposed to going back to work someday, but I never knew what it would be that I would do. I've thrown around a couple of ideas in my mind, but I would always lose interest in them after a bit, and I wouldn't ever follow through. And people always say to me something like, "You're a good writer, you should write a book!", but the Lord has never given me the idea for one. I'm not opposed to that either, but as much as I love to write, I have no idea what I would sit down and write about. (I don't say that to brag, by the way, but the Lord has given me a love of writing and reading, and just words in general, and if you or me, or anyone else has a love of something like that, they're usually good at whatever it is. The same could be said of cooking~if you love to cook, chances are, you're pretty good at it.)
The last time I sat and actually prayed over this again, was a few weeks ago. I was in my car, and I was alone, of course, because teenage boys don't like to ride around with their mama, once they're driving. (Side note: if you ever see me driving and my mouth is moving, know that I am talking to Jesus. I do that best while I'm in the car and less distracted.) I think I was on my way to swim with my mom in love, and I said something like this: "Lord, you know I feel idle right now. If you want me to work outside of my home again, will You let me know? Or show me what it is You want me to do?" I had thought about volunteering with Life Choices and being a coach to expectant moms there, and I had also been thinking of applying to my local library, because I know of a job opening that will probably happen at the end of this month. Needless to say, both of those ideas never happened, and I never felt impressed to begin the steps of applying to them.
Of course when I prayed that day, as usual, I know that the Lord heard me (1 Peter 3:12), but I didn't feel a tug in my heart, or a quickening of my spirit or anything, but I surrendered it to Him and I told Him I would do whatever He wanted me to do. I went about my day and continued on as usual. (Keep in mind, I've been praying this pretty consistently for the last year to year and a half.) The next day, my friend Amy from church asked if we could chat on the phone, and when we did, you'll never believe what she asked me. She asked me if I would pray about coming to work with her in the women's ministry at our church. (She is the women's ministry director at our church.) I'm smiling so big as I write that sentence, and honestly with teary eyes, because how faithful is the Lord? I actually welled up with her on the phone, and I shared with her about how I had JUST prayed over the idea of going to work outside of my home again, and then she called me and asked me this. Of course, I told her I would pray about it first, and talk to my husband and sons, and that I would let her know. I talked to Todd that night, and he said the words I knew he would say, and that was that he would support me in whatever decision I made.
I did take a couple of weeks, though, and really prayed faithfully about this, before jumping in with my answer, because I have been guilty of doing that before, only to have it end with horrible results. I have issues with wanting to be fully committed, or not committing at all. I texted Amy back almost two weeks ago, and told her I would take her up on the offer. This will be the third time I've been offered a job at our church, and though the first two had the wrong timing, this one is perfectly timed out. I know that with the way the everything played out, that it was nothing short of the Lord working it all out before us. I look forward to starting on Wednesday, and having a regular schedule, at least for now. As events take place, I might work a little more in the week of, but for now, I committed to two days a week, assisting Amy in her role as women's ministry director. I have zero expectations, because I wasn't expecting this at all. I told her today, after we met, that I wasn't the least bit overwhelmed with all the information she gave to me, as long as she didn't mind the questions I'll be sure to have. She doesn't mind. I love this friend, and really look forward to getting to know her even better, and working alongside her. I really look forward to getting more involved outside of the walls of our home, and getting to know more of these women. The Lord crossed my path with Amy a little over a year ago, and we've already seen Him answer at least one prayer that we prayed with together.
Like I said earlier, His faithfulness and His kindness always amaze me. Because really...who am I? The answer to that is nobody, but a forty something year old wife and mom, who loves Him with everything within me. The more I know Him, the more beautiful I see that He is. Not that I physically have laid eyes on Him, but how could He not be? He blows my mind. I'll leave you with this picture of my home away from home that I so love, but that now really will be my new home away from home. I'll always be grateful that the Lord brought our family to Collierville First Baptist church. And also, I'll end with a word of encouragement to anyone praying for something. The Lord hears every single prayer that we utter. He may not always answer in the way that we want Him to, but He will answer in the way that He knows will be best, and it will be according to His will. He will work all the details out for us, regarding whatever we pray for. Sometimes, though, we have a hard job. That is that we have to lay down what we're asking Him for. Here is what I mean~when I pray for something, like regarding me going to work at our church, I will say to Him, "Lord, You know that this is something that I want, but more than that, I want what YOU want. So if it's not for Your will for me to do this, then help me to move on, and help me to be okay with that." And every single time, He will either change my mind, or He will let something happen, like He did for me, regarding this.
So do not give up, and do not lose heart. Be faithful in praying, not always for what you want, but for praising Him for who He is, thanking Him for all that He has done (like saving us!), committing our lives to Him, and sharing with Him in every area in our lives and pouring it all out before Him, and always be mindful of repenting of sin areas in your life, allowing Him to be Lord over our lives. God is no genie in a bottle. He is God, Creator and Savior of the world. He is sovereign, and we can trust Him with our lives. If He has numbered the stars in the sky, chances are, He can handle our junk. (Said with tongue in cheek.)
I don't write this for applause, I write to encourage and to remember. As always, thank you for taking the time to read. Love to all.
Thank you for sharing with us what it lives like, to think, to pray and to trust God so that many might see how Proverbs 3:5-6 can be lived out.
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