the power of words

I watched the Today show this morning, and they had a fun little segment where they each held up paddles with the words "text" on one side and "call" on the other.  Hoda Kotb read out scenarios and they would answer with their paddles whether or not texting or calling would be appropriate.  It was thought provoking and it reminded me of something I've known forever, but have been very recently reminded of again.

I know what I am about to say will shock you, but if you know me at all, you'll understand.  I. HATE. TEXTING.  I absolutely hate it.

And I do it all the time, but still, I hate texting.

However, life happens, and sometimes we must do something just out of necessity.  I don't always have time to call people or to answer their phone call (and honestly, sometimes I just don't WANT to talk), so I might text if I need a short, quick answer.  People whose phone calls I will always answer are few~my husband and sons, our families that are extended, and my very close friends.  (You know who you are, because I always answer your call, unless I am physically unable.)

I have this ongoing joke with my best friend Missy about us having our nightly phone date.  We don't really talk every single night, but three nights in a row last week we did, and for a large amount of time.  I love a good, old fashioned phone call.  I love talking to her, to my moms, and to my sisters.  I can talk to them for a long time, it seems, never running out of things to say.  I really love a phone call that's for no reason, other than to just talk.

The reason I hate texting is simple: miscommunication happens during texting back and forth.  Messages get long and very drawn out, and on my phone (a Samsung) the messages come in wonky if it's long and from an iPhone.  Also, I think we are more free with our words over texting, meaning that we would say it through a screen, but not ever over the phone or in person.

And that's the part I don't like.  Our words are so very powerful, whether good or bad.  I think of the verses in the book of James three that speak of the tongue, and how it cannot be tamed.  And joking around?  Though we do this a lot in my family, lately, I've not been the biggest fan of it.  Our words are a reflection of our hearts.  The bible tells us that in Matthew 15:18.  Not only will our heart lead to words we misspeak, it'll also lead us to evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, sexual immoralities, theft, false testimonies, and blasphemies.  (That is found in Matthew 15:19.)

Even if what we say is with pure motives, what we say over text can be read wrong.

This has happened to me recently, both in the texting that I did, and in the text that someone else sent to me.  And apologies?  Though I've been guilty of sending one over text, I feel that these need to be made over the phone, at the very least, but preferably face to face.  Call me old fashioned or whatever you want, it's just the way I feel it should be.

Our words matter.  Our motive matters.  Our tone of voice matters.  I have said to my boys a million times, "It's not what you said, it's how you said it."  Our facial expressions matter, if we are face to face.  And if something kinda rude or meant to be a little mean in a text message is sent, all the heart eyes and laughing face emojis in the world don't matter, if what you said to someone was meant to deliver a sting.  I have also said to my boys (and continually preach this to myself), "BE KIND."  If you have something to say, it can be said in a nice way, even if you're slightly irritated with someone.

This kind of thing has been prevalent in my life lately, both in me being guilty of saying something that is taken wrong, and in someone saying something to me that I took wrong.  And trust me, when I say things like this, I am saying it all to myself.  I am the worst of these, just like Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15, when he is speaking of sinning.  My point in this post is to bring light into what is often a gray and murky area, and to encourage all of us to think about our words.

I'll end with what is possibly my favorite bible verse ever, and one that I quote ALL THE TIME.  I'm writing it out in the NIV translation.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  Ephesians 4:29.

I'll also leave up this reminder for us all.

We are all going through our stuff, and sometimes we just need a little grace from those we know and love.  I've been guilty of forgetting that.  The good Lord knows that I definitely need others to give me grace, because I can get way off course, in my walk with Him.  I need to remember to extend it as well, though.  We never know what someone is going through, even though they may put on a brave face in front of people.

Like I said a bunch already, I am preaching this to myself the most.  And if I need to remember this, I thought someone else might need to see it as well.  Thanks for reading.  Love to all.