day 122, Saturday March 2nd

Only in Memphis does it wait until March to snow.  And would you believe that it snowed here all day, with nothing on the ground to show for it?  Only in Memphis, I tell you.

Operation delete the Facebook app from my cell phone is working miracles.  I feel so less connected to the world, and happier.  I got on Facebook tonight for a few minutes after I got home, and I'm finding myself already getting agitated.  Why in the world do I keep feeling this way about this stupid social networking website?!!?!  Maybe it's the comparison thing.  With Facebook around, it's almost impossible not to compare your life with the lives of others.

I'm not saying I haven't ever put anything up like that...I have, trust me.  Not intentionally, but I know that some people took it the wrong way.  It's making me re-evaluate things.  I will definitely think twice about what I post from here on out.  I for sure will think about the way it might make people feel.

Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive.  I can't seem to help it here lately.  Have I mentioned to you that I feel like I've lost certain "friends" since I started homeschooling?  I do feel that way, still.  People I thought were my friends...turns out, maybe not so much.  There are three for sure that I feel that way about, and I feel like my kids are suffering because of it.  They're probably not really suffering...it's probably me being sensitive.  I just can't help but feel left out (for them) when I see/hear about certain groups of kids getting together... doing things that my kids would have been invited to a few months ago...and now, all of a sudden, aren't in their little group of friends anymore. 

It makes me want to scream.  Or cry.  Or both.

I feel like their group of friends is shrinking.  I'm scared that they're losing touch with school kids.  I'm worried that it's awkward for them, now that they're homeschooled.  (Just keepin' it real.)  I don't want them to go through these things!  I'll be honest and say that this is one reason I was looking forward to not going back to Collierville First Baptist.  There are so many groups of kids there from school, that I fear they will no longer fit in.  (Maybe they do fit in...hopefully they do.  Hopefully I'm wrong.)

Jonah and Noah are fine~there are lots of families that homeschool with their age group of friends.

It's the youth that worry me.  Case in point~tomorrow night is a huge event in Memphis called Winter Jam.  I want my boys to go (with Todd, of course), and preferably with a group of kids from church, but I'm not sure if that will happen.  I know Graham was texting one friend about a group of them meeting, but this was a girl that he was talking to, and I would love for some boys to go.

Again...I'm not sure if any of this will happen.  Maybe it will.  Who knows?

Just talking out my frustrations.  Venting, I guess.  (Are you sick of me doing this yet?  It seems I've been doing this a lot lately!)  I hate being emotional...I wear my heart on my sleeve, and sometimes I feel like I get my feelings hurt so easily.  :(

As I wrap this sob story up, I'm sure you're wondering what I have written about that I'm thankful for.  Well, let me tell you, I'm thankful that I can turn all this over to God.  1 Peter 5:7 says that we can cast all our cares upon Him, because He cares for us.  All of them~our worries, fears, insecurities, thoughts~He will gladly bear our burdens.

God knows how sensitive I am, and I know that these thoughts will soon disappear.  I know that a lot of what I said is unwarranted, and I know that I am most likely wrong about a lot of it.  I'm glad...I want to be wrong about this stuff!!

And on the very teeny tiny chance that I'm not wrong, then I know that whatever happens, He is there with me.  He is there to impart wisdom and guidance on how to parent these boys of mine in these days.  It's not easy...this parenting thing, but I'm thankful I have Him to lean on.

I'm thankful that I homeschool my boys, and that we will make a lesson of how to treat others...and what to say and not to say, and how to say it.  I almost can't wait till Monday morning...I have an idea for a Bible study rolling around in my brain that I am anxious to get started on.  It's on the life of David~a man after God's own heart.  I plan on starting in 1 Samuel and just working our way through.  We might make a whole school day out of it, who knows?

I'm thankful for some inspiration.

Thanks for reading/listening.

Love to all.