Who Are You?

I can tell you who I am.  Wife.  Mother.  Daughter.  Sister.  Aunt.  Friend.

See those first two?  I need to remember to be better at them.  Especially the wife one.  Do you struggle with this?  I know women are the ones who read this, and I want to be real on here.  I struggle with being a submissive wife.  I'm pretty sure I laughed at that part during our wedding ceremony.  I do not like the word submissive, and I don't like the meaning.  Or, what I think some people might mistake for the meaning of the word.

I used to think submissive meant being a doormat.  Someone the husband would "talk down to" and just get the benefit of being the boss.

But the real definition does not mean that at all!  The real definition is this:

To yield.  To defer to.  (I really like that second one.  And thank you, Merriam Webster for this definition.)
  
See the difference?  


The Bible says for wives to respect their husbands.  It also says that husbands should love their wives.  The kind of love that leaves no doubt in the wife's mind that she is important and valued in the eyes of her husband.  The kind of love that would fight hard for her if the need ever arose.  The kind of love that makes her feel cherished.  


It's funny how we have to respect and they have to love.  But for women, to respect her husband IS to love him.  Respect means (to me, anyway) putting him before myself.  It means showing him that he alone gets the honor of knowing every little detail about me.  It means that he is of tremendous worth and value in my eyes.  It means showing him that I need him...and not just as someone else to help discipline the kids, but that I not only need him, but can't and wouldn't want to live without him.

Respect goes hand in hand with submit.  Don't you think?  You can't have one without the other. 

I said all this to say that Todd and I are not perfect.  We don't have the perfect marriage.  We never have and we never will.  We argue.  Over stupid things.  Like where I put his receipts.  We even go to bed mad sometimes.  (GASP!)  And, yes, I know the Bible says not to do that.  

We struggle with saying "I'm sorry".  We both know that we should, but sometimes we just don't.  At least until much later, and usually not face to face.  (I know, I'm painting a pretty sad picture here.)


But in reading the Bible this morning, God revealed some fresh truths to me.  I was reading in Job, too, which is crazy that I would find something that relates to marriage in this book of despair.  One that I found is this:


"In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind."  Job 12:10


I know...you're thinking, "What in the world does THAT have to do with marriage??"  It has to do with that God created us all.  He holds us all in the palm of His hand.  All of us.  Don't you think He knew of the differences between a man and a woman, since He created them both?  He knew that wives needed to be treated a little gentler and that men needed to know that their wives respected and appreciated them.  Our very breath came from Him.  And with that very breath, we should only speak to each other in a way that will bring honor to Him.  We should love and respect.


If He created us and breathed life into us, don't you think He can better our marriages?  Or give us the strength to be the Godly spouse He calls us to be?  (And I'm not talking about on Facebook, either.  I am talking about REAL.  Human.  Imperfections and all.)


Admittedly, this post is for me this morning.  I just thought I would share what God laid on my heart.  Surely I'm not the only one this speaks to.  Surely someone other than me sees the connection between marriage and Job.  Surely.  


Oh, and one more from Job:


"To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his."  Job 12:13


He will give us the strength, the wisdom, the power, the counsel and understanding we need to be who He called us to be.  


So, I ask again...who are you?  


Or Whose are you?  


I am His.  


Guess what?  


I found my word for 2012.  


Committed.  


COMMITTED.  


To carry into action deliberately.  (Thank you, Merriam Webster.)  

I am committing this year, 2012, to be a better, more Godly wife.   Are you committing to anything this year?  Care to share it?


Think about it.  Love to all.