I Still Don't Have Much...

To write about, that is.  I don't really know why.  I'm fine...nothing has happened...I guess I'm just tired of writing about the same old same old.  So, I'll write about something else. 

Bible study.  :) 

I finished the Esther study I was doing.  I hated to see it come to an end.  We had an amazing facilitator and group.  We were small in number, but we were mighty.  I look forward to studying with them more in the future.  We're going to have a couple of impromptu Bible study nights on the book of James, and after the first of next year, we'll be starting a study on Daniel.  Another Beth Moore. 

I guess I have been in a little bit of a funk because I hate seeing good things come to an end.  I love how I feel when I'm in the middle of a good Bible study.  I love how I see God in all my surroundings.  I love seeing His hand on my life, and I love how in tune with Him I feel.  Bible study has become one of my non-negotiables in life.  I know everyone has those...surely, it can't just be me?  I need (yearn, crave, want) to constantly be in the middle of God's Word.  And I don't speak for anyone but myself when I say this, but I am the kind of person that needs a good, structured study to prompt me along.  The more interesting to me it is, the more I am going to dig deeper on my own. 

I read my Bible.  Sometimes.  On my own, I mean.  I pick it up and flip through.  I read a Scripture here, and one there.  But give me a good, formatted study, and I will not stop.  It dawned on me two weeks ago that I really don't have to even wait until our next scheduled group study is going to begin.  There are lots of weeks between now and then, and the way that my favored author writes, you really don't have to listen to the cd's or watch the dvd's.  The workbook is plenty. 

So on Monday, I purchased my newest Bible study.  That I will be going through on my own...unless one of you reading this wants to join me.  I have been thinking about which one I wanted to do next...my favored author has written so many...and then I started praying about which one I was supposed to do.  I was in Lifeway standing in front of the many titles, and one just jumped out at me.  And then I picked it up, turned it over and read the back cover.  Wow.  Areas in one's life that were mentioned in this Bible study are things like inconsistencies in life, struggling with friendships, insecurities, feelings of inadequacy, FAMILY STRUGGLES, ummm, I'll just stop at that one. 

I snatched it up.  And am so excited about it.  It's David: Seeking A Heart Like His by Beth Moore.  I actually got the gift version of this about 5 years ago from my old music pastor, Kent Ferrin and his precious wife, Kathy.  I also happen to LOVE the story of David and Jonathan.  I also happen to have a heart for worship.  And Samuel 1and 2 are two of my favorite books in the entire Bible.  I am almost beside myself. 

I started on it this morning.  And was almost late for work 2 hours later.  If you haven't already read the story of how Saul became king and would like to...then read 1 Samuel chapters 8-11.  I couldn't stop there, though.  I ended up going all the way through chapter 14 and had to make myself stop.  I love a good history lesson, and though I've read these chapters before, this morning I read them with new eyes. 

I guess I'm writing all this to say that I've not really been content with my self for the last few weeks.  Maybe the ending of our Esther study helped further it along.  Who knows?  But are we supposed to ever really be content in our lives?  I think that we are supposed to be content with our belongings, as in not wanting newer and better and more, but I don't think we're ever supposed to be content in life.  I know I don't ever want to be that way.  I don't want to grow lazy in my walk with the Lord.  That tends to happen with me when I am feeling too content.  And I guess those are the feelings I've had for the past few weeks.  I knew that I should be digging into the Word more, but I didn't know where to start or how to go about it. 

Sure, I could try and do it on my own.  But as I've discovered in the past, that only leads to disappointment.  Because of my 4 children, maybe?  Or because I get easily sidetracked?  I don't know.  Or I could pick up another Bible study workbook.  I opted for the latter because I need structure.  I also need the feeling of accountability that going through the pages of the book gives me.  I need the feeling of beginning and then the feeling of completion over a certain portion of Scripture.  I need to know that I have studied a certain part of the Word well and that it has gone down into my very depths.  I need to know that I have been saturated by it, and I need to remember all that I've learned and read. 

I need to understand more of God.  And how He works.  And especially how He works in the many faceted areas of my life.  I need to know more of Him...and I can't get enough.  Do you feel this way?  Or are you "content"?

The workbook helps me. 

Am I alone in this?  Or am I the only weird one???  All I know is when I opened the brand new workbook and delved into God's Word this morning, I had the feeling that I was coming home.  I had the "aaaaahhhhhhhhh moment" and everything!  Well...

I guess I did have some words, after all.  I hope you enjoyed (or at least were entertained) understanding just one small way of how weird my brain works.  And how much I crave structure.  Accountability.  Faithfulness. 

Until the next time...Happy Wednesday.