My Thoughts

Most of you already know if you talk to me often, or if you're on FaceBook, but I wanted to post on my blog what my day was like yesterday. The boys woke us up at 7:30 yesterday morning with laughter and talking, and shortly after that, the phone started ringing. My mom wanted to be called when my grandmother was about to pass away, and she got that phone call at around 4:30 in the morning. When my mom got there, Mammaw had already died a few minutes before. She was not alone though, the hospice nurse was there with her.

And let me tell you something, those hospice nurses will have a special place for them in Heaven someday. The one that I got to know over the past few days is named Vikki, and she's just an amazing person. They all were, but she was the one who was closest to Mammaw. She cried with us as we said our goodbyes on Wednesday, and so did the other nurse that was there. They get so attached to their patients that they become so much more than just 'patients'. They become like family to them, and they also get to know and love the families of the elderly. It's all very emotional, and it really endears these precious people to you.

This is the first death I've experienced in a while, and although her passing is sad for us still here, it's such an incredible thing knowing that she is rejoicing in Heaven in her brand new body!! She was an amazing lady who lived a very long and full life. My grandfather died 25 years ago, and none of us thought she would have ever lived this long without him. After he died, she stayed in a trailor on my uncle's property for a while; until her health started going down and she needed more constant care. My mom's sister Elsie moved her to Texas with her for a while. Then my aunt started getting sick, in fact she had a brain tumor that eventually ended her life. So my mom moved Mammaw in with us. Her health was going downhill, and for a while everyone thought she had Alzheimer's disease, but we later found out it was severe dimentia. She lived with us until my mom was physically unable to care for her herself. She went into a nursing home then, and stayed there until one year ago, when that nursing home was shut down. Mom moved her into another nursing home and everything seemed okay, until neglect became evident in Mammaw's broken foot, and in other areas, as well. She moved her into yet another home and this is where she was when she died.

Mammaw's gone though a lot, and has proven herself to be a real trooper. She's pulled through many obstacles, and it was obvious that God was keeping her here on earth for a reason. I began to pray a while back that when it was her time to go, that it would be quick and painless. And it really was....God definitely delivered. She was very comfortable when she passed away, and it was in her sleep. The hospice nurse had warned us that her last breaths might have been gasping breaths, but praise the LORD that was not so. She just very peacefully took one last breath and that was it.

My mom is doing great, all things considered, I'm just wondering what she's going to do with herself now that she's gone. She's been a very faithful daughter and has so graciously cared for her mother all these years...14 to be exact. I am so glad that all of her guilt will be gone now. Even though she was so faithful in her care of Mammaw, if she missed even one visit, she would literally berate herself over it for days. Even though my Mammaw didn't know if she was there or not, Mom knew and she would be so mad at herself. I am glad that that part will be over. She can also start doing something for herself for a change. I am glad for that...Mom definitely deserves it.

Well, I'm going to run, I have to get ready for our little mini~road trip to Mississippi. We decided that we are going to spend the night there tonight. It's easier for us to stay there since it's a couple hours away. The boys are excited because it's a little getaway~they'll take it where they can get it, right? I've explained to them that this is not a party, but a very serious time. They'll be fine...we've sat down and talked about it this morning, and I know that they'll deliver. Thank you for your prayers for my family during this time...love to all.